A Woman’s Guide To: Beating the Car Dealership
In the early stages of the pandemic, I spent a lot of time reading and watching re-runs of my favorite TV shows. In one special trip to Barnes & Nobel (I had run out of intellectually stimulating literature), my husband, Ryan, stumbled upon the book I will Teach You to Be Rich by Remit Sethi.
At first, the title put me off. I’m not one for self-help anecdotes. Nor am I the kind of person to pick up a book that claims to help people “get rich.” But I was curious. And it ended up saving me thousands of dollars.
Sethi taught me how to crush the car buying game — one that often huffs at women because we are — well — women. It sounds a bit silly, perhaps old fashioned. But it’s one of those stupid, unspoken “truths.” If you send a woman to the car lot, it’s a sure fire way to raise your out-of-pocket car costs — complete with bells and whistles, extended warranties, and…the list goes on.
Cue my rage and uncontrollable eye rolls.
Sethi’s method — I’m not certain if he designed it, honestly— leaves women empowered and dealerships quaking in their boots. And i’m here for it. Even if it wasn’t intentionally designed for women.
Needless to say, I ate the advice up. And was dreaming of the day I could use it to my advantage.
That day came in February of 2021 — and it worked.
And I’m here to share it with you.
It’s time to grab your coffee or tea, ladies. We’ve got work to do.
before we get started
This method isn’t for the faint of heart. Once you commit, you have to go all in. It requires ample research on the front end — which may result in hours spent scouring the internet and gathering intel on many dealerships. However, the payoff is sickeningly sweet.
the method
You will be creating an email that you can send to a list of curated dealerships. These dealerships will have the car you are looking for in their inventory or in transit. This email will serve as your primary form of communication. The only goal of the email is to secure the best out the door price for the vehicle you are seeking. Give your dealerships time to offer and counter to other offers you have received. Once you are happy with your offer, you will venture to the dealership to close out the paperwork.
step one: pick your car and set your (firm) budget
Ryan and I needed a larger car. We wanted something with stellar safety ratings, ample space, and lasting quality. We narrowed our search to three brands: Kia, Honda, and Toyota. At first, we wanted a used car. However, with more research, we decided to pursue a new vehicle. With this information in hand, we narrowed our choices to Honda and Toyota. Ultimately, we decided on a 2021 Honda CR-V AWD.
We chose the CR-V for it’s color, MPS, safety, and lifetime value. While it was at the top of our budget, we knew it would be a better purchase for us in the long run.
Speaking of budget — have a number in mind before you start looking at cars. You don’t want to fall in love with something you can’t afford.
Here are some of the sites I used to research vehicles:
Here is a budgeting site I liked:
step two: locate your vehicle
Once you know the make and model you are looking for, you can begin searching for a dealership that has that vehicle on lot or in transit.
With our CR-V, I started with the main Honda website. The website provided a list of active inventory and where that inventory was located. It provided the name, address, and phone number for the dealerships that carried my specific vehicle. (Note: it will also tell you if it is in transit. In transit means the car hasn’t made it to the lot yet.)
Make a list of the dealerships in consideration. I suggest making a list of 15 dealerships — some that are local, some within reach, and some across state lines.
You do this for three reasons: (1) to broaden the competition pool, (2) increase your likelihood of a good deal, and (3) prove you have done your research. But why 15? This gives you cushion just in case some dealerships don’t respond.
step three: gather emails and promotions
This step is tricky.
The whole point of this method is to have dealerships emailing you with their best deal — but you can’t do that successfully if you can’t find an email for a salesperson. And when I tell you they are hard to find — they are really hard to find. Most websites don’t list emails for sales associates. Hell, you can’t even find an email for the dealership itself. So here’s where the heavy lifting comes in: you’re going to have to call the dealership.
I know, I know. This part will suck. It did for me. But I will outline how I navigated the process.
Every dealership will have someone who works as front of house — this could be an administrator or department head. This person fields all customer calls, and transfers those calls if necessary. If you’re lucky, you will get someone who primarily works the front desk. If you’re unlucky, you will get transferred to a sales associate the moment you say you are buying a car. If you’re really unlucky, someone who actually works the lot will answer.
Here’s the only thing you have to remember: your time is precious, you prefer email communication, and all you’re looking for is a name and email. It doesn’t matter who answers the phone — stick to this narrative. And be firm. Because they will do everything in their power to keep you on the phone. They did it to me. They will certainly try it with you. But we aren’t here to make friends, ladies. We are here to save dollars.
Once I had contacts established, I researched potential promos that manufacturers provided or the dealership was running. I kept a running spreadsheet with all of this information.
step four: the email
Cue the fun part.
The email is where you stack the cards in your favor. Keep it concise and be honest. In other words — get to the point. It should include the following: the make and model of the car (include the color, if you have a preference) you’re looking for, your expectations, and when you expect to close the deal. In my case, I said I would give the sale to whoever could get me the best out-the-door price by my specified date.
When it comes to the email, here are the important details:
- DO allow other dealerships to see the other emails you’ve gathered. It creates a sense of urgency and tells your recipients you’ve done your research and are considering dealerships that aren’t local.
- DO include the general area where you are located. Most of your local dealers will want you to stay local (more on that at the end of this article).
- DON’T state the price you are going for. This tips your hand, and they won’t have a reason to outbid one another.
- DO give hard dates and honor them. Follow through is everything.
- DON’T worry about the dealerships that don’t respond. It’s reasonable if a handful don’t get back to you.
- DON’T send an email at the beginning of the month. End of the month is always better. Closer to the end of the year is best — urgency, urgency, urgency. They have quotas to beat!
step five: the close
You’ve sent the email. Now you wait.
But will anyone respond?
The emails will start rolling in — most likely, your first will come within 24 hours. Some may take more than a day. Don’t get too eager. Let a few trickle in — then review and take in your offers.
I should note — this is where the process can get out of hand. In my case, I got an email from all but one dealership. My inbox was flooded. I got overwhelmed. I felt obligated to reply to every single one. But I didn’t need to. And you don’t have to either.
Pick your top three — preferably offers that have the greatest discrepancies. Be honest about what another dealership is offering (don’t be afraid to tell them who is offering what). In my case, this came in handy because my two best deals were between a local dealership and one in a different state. Our local dealership ended up winning — which shouldn’t have been a surprise. Dealers don’t want you crossing state lines to get a car.
Quick tip: Don’t lie your way into a deal. If you don’t have an offer, don’t make one up. The dealer will ask for proof and the numbers.
Once we accepted the deal, we set the date and time we would stop by to sign paperwork. We showed up at the dealership, asked for our sales representative, and said we were ready to sign the paperwork.
In total, we saved close to $5,000 on a brand new vehicle. We got it for several thousand dollars under invoice.
To think — it all started with a book.
Lucky for you, I already did the reading. Now all you have to do is put it to work.
other important details you should consider
There is a lot of literature out there that will guide you in brokering a car deal. Some of it’s true. Some of it’s straight up B.S. In the interest of saving you time, I’ve included it here.
- Fees to watch for — don’t pay these.
- Extended warranties — you don’t need it.
- What are the true out-the-door costs?
- Gap insurance? Most people don’t understand this crap.
- Don’t let them run your credit until you are about to sign.
- Ask for the invoice.
